Puffy Promotes New Drink, But Why? By Mike Coughlin

Vodka nauseates me. I hate the fumes. I hate the taste. I hate the chill that goes through my body when I have to drink it. I hate the sensation of it then seeping out my pores. And now, to add to all of it, I hate the fact that P Diddy is launching a new brand of it in the US.

P Diddy, whom I will insultingly refer to as ‘Puff Daddy’ for the remainder of this article (to remind everyone of his days as a bad rapper), is teaming up with British vodka makers Diageo to promote their new brand Ciroc.

Rapper no more. Therefore, celebrity no more – or so one would think.
Puff Daddy borders on one of those celebrities that are famous because they are famous – joining the cast that includes Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kevin Federline and Kato Kaelin (geez, who do you have to kill to get in that club?).

Don’t argue with me and say “but he is famous -- he was a rapper and now he is a prominent businessman.” That doesn’t fly in this court. He got famous for his remixed 80’s rip-offs, made his money, and turned it around to pump the cash back into his business ventures. Rapper no more. Therefore, celebrity no more – or so one would think.

Instead, however, he dated Jennifer Lopez -- stayed famous. He got in a gun incident -- stayed famous. The man owns a record label. And now he is a vodka promoter. He is not a celebrity.

He is the owner of a clothing line, but not a celebrity.

He is a restaurateur, but not a celebrity.

He is a bad dancer, but not a celebrity.

And the unfortunate thing is that this Ciroc vodka will succeed in the US because Puff Daddy is a good businessman. In fact, getting someone “famous for being famous” to be your product’s promoter is perhaps the most logical thing to do – they’re the ones that are the masters at making something unbelievably popular for seemingly no reason at all.

He will make it cool. He will make it sell. He will make more money.

He has all the tools needed to succeed in this. He has the network: friends in the rap and fashion industries as well as any other A-list celebrities he’s linked up with along the way.

He has the perfect means to advertise it. Bad Boy Records. What do you think those artists will be singing about now? Cristal? Not if they want to keep their paychecks. Time to edit those lyrics. Or maybe Puffy will just do what he always does and just remix the songs that already exist: Take out “Cristal,” replace with “Ciroc.”

What will be the high profile drink in Puff Daddy’s restaurants? Dom Perignon? Negative. You get the idea (Ciroc).

The point is, the ‘Roc is coming and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Who knows, maybe everyone will love it once they try it. Just remember who got you to try it.

Photo credit: Puff Daddy (CBS) [http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2007/10/24/image3402609.jpg]