Scientists Misclaim Tai Chi Relationship with Shingles By Mike Coughlin

The latest scientific endeavor claims that the ancient Chinese art of tai chi may help prevent shingles.

Maybe I'm being too rash in my judgment of the study, but it just sounds far fetched, if not ridiculous. Imagine the planning meeting for it.

It probably went something like this: The head nerd said, "my fellow nerds, how shall we use all this funding money? AIDS research?"

The nerds replied, "AIDS? Screw that!"
To say that it helps with one specific disease -- the chicken pox part two -- is misleading.
The head nerd made another suggestion, "how about global warming, that's a hot topic."

But, again, they retorted, "there's no proof global warming even exists! Come on!"

Then the head nerd said, "fine, scratch that. Nerds, I was going to save this for a rainy day but how about we see if tai chi is related to shingles."

"But I drink that stuff all the time!" one nerd gasped.

"Are we going to fix my leaky roof?" asked another.

The head nerd said, "no, not chai tea, tai chi. And not roof shingles, the disease shingles. You know, the return of the chicken pox. What do you say?"

"Genius," they said in unison.

But these couldn't have been your run of the mill genius scientists. This seems more like a publicity stunt than a legitimate study. It had to have been a small group of white-coats itching for attention.

For one thing, the logic is ridiculous.

Stress hinders the immune system. Tai chi is an exercise that uses slow, graceful motions that are thought by many to relieve stress. Thus, tai chi is good for the immune system. I don't dispute that.

In the study, however, one group of people performed tai chi while the control group was taught stress management in a classroom setting. There's no doubt the tai chi group would do better! Go to a class where you learn how to manage stress, or actually manage stress. One is a coin toss, the other is guaranteed.

It's like the difference between leading a horse to water, or making him drink (I know you can't make him drink but just go with it, I'm making a point). The horses led to water may or may not drink (may or may not manage stress) while the horses made to drink would eventually end up, well, pissing like racehorses (that is, manage stress very well).

The study was absolutely biased in favor of tai chi. How many of us follow what we learned in driving school or sex ed class? Not nearly enough, the number of speeding tickets and the spread of STD's speak for themselves. You can't replicate stress relief in a classroom.

Even if you accept their incorrect logic and believe that tai chi keeps people healthy beyond its stress relieving properties, you still can't say that tai chi directly affected shingles. By relieving stress it boosts the immune system in general. To say that it helps with one specific disease -- the chicken pox part two -- is misleading.

Someone such as me should not be able to see holes likes this in a scientific study. I'm just not that smart. For the sake of man's survival I hope that these were second rate scientists who aren't allowed to work on the important research for AIDS and cancer. Sort of like giving your 2-year-old son a toy hammer to keep him from doing damage with the real one.

Or maybe they wanted to feel good about themselves so they rigged the study to guarantee success. You can't do that with AIDS and cancer research because too many people care; their findings would have been, well, under a microscope. So they picked tai chi and shingles because they were too, well, chicken to take on a real project.

So that's where my tax dollars went.

Photo credit: Tai chi lightning palm [http://www.wudangboxing.com/images/Photo%2007%20-%20Tai%20Chi%20Lightning
%20Palm.jpg]