Gulf of Mexico Welcomes Two Jumpers By Mike Coughlin

The US Coast Guard found two college aged students alive after going overboard from a cruise ship in the Gulf of Mexico four hours earlier.

They fell overboard around 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning. The first was found at 5:30 a.m. while the second was found at 6 a.m. What rescuers don't know is how it happened.
She did something no sane person would ever do. She went gulfing.
How? I'll wager a guess. It's 1:30 a.m. Sunday -- late Saturday night, that is. Furthermore, cruise ships are normally "all inclusive" -- free drinks. Add a 22-year-old guy and a 20-year-old girl to the mix and you've got yourself a couple of spring breakers who can't hold their liquor stumbling about on a ship as it slowly rocks back and forth in the dark.

My guess is that the guy had been feeding the girl drinks all night, looking for the same thing any 22-year-old guy wants during a cruise, a little Love Boat action. Don't worry, buddy -- she's going to fall head over heels for you.

There is, however, one hole in that story. If they were so drunk that they fell off the side of the boat, how could these two lemmings have possibly tread water for four hours?

I must have been way off. Let me try again.

What if the guy had been creeping her out all night. A real stalker type, following her around from deck to deck, bar stool to bar stool. Our Jane Doe had gotten so annoyed with him that she did something no sane person would ever do. She went gulfing.

As for the guy, the oblivious creep that he was, he knew exactly what was going on -- she was playing hard to get. After she went overboard, he followed suit (well, suit-less) -- I mean, he had already spent all night working on her, it would be a shame to just let her get away like that. It was time to strip down naked and go after her.

Besides, it was only 50 feet; he'd probably live. I hope he did a naked cannonball. Imagine that splash!

Far fetched? How else can you explain why they were nowhere near each other when the rescuers found them. She had spent all night swimming away from him.

Or I guess it could have just been really dark and they could have just been a little tipsy. Either way, I know what the guy wanted.

Photo credit: Cruise ship "Crystal Symphony." (Not the ship from the news story.) [http://www.nt.gov.au/dpa/images/cruise_terminal_images/cruise_ship2.jpg]