Away With the Ashtrays By Mike Coughlin

This past weekend I rented "Thank You for Smoking," a satirical comedy about fictional tobacco spokesman Nick Naylor and how he spins the truth to make cigarettes look good. Yeah, the movie makes a mockery of Big Tobacco, but if the real players are as persuasive as this guy, I'll be investing in Tarceva.

But unfortunately for you tobacco backers, society is catching on. Smoking bans are popping up faster than stupid Jessica Simpson quotes. Many states now have some sort of a statewide smoking ban.

Monday, during a rerun of "Yes, Dear," I watched the character Jimmy Hughes, a blue collar quasi-dope, find his wife Christine smoking a cigarette in the backyard. Although Jimmy's lack of education sometimes limits him to basic arithmetic and a limited vocabulary, he's still very aware that cigarettes are harmful.

Other quasi-dopes seem to be learning, too. Take my dad, for example. He stopped smoking after decades of loyalty to Vantage cigarettes -- one of Camel's cousin brands. Cool Joe Camel never sent him a thank you note or Christmas card. My mom followed suit a few years later, cutting her ties with Phillip Morris. No fruit basket ever arrived from old Phil in gratitude for her years of patronage.

Back when I was in high school, the notion that smoking was cool and rebellious was still very much alive. We knew people would smoke at the bars, even though we couldn't get in. People would smoke at parties. Parents told their kids not to smoke; so naturally they would buy cigarettes. It was like the decision was already made for them.

Luckily, the image of smoking has changed and these new laws will help further its change from something rebellious to something stupid. Think about it, no longer is it wrong only for teens to smoke at a bowling alley; it's wrong for everyone. Gee, maybe there's actually something to what everyone's been saying. People really don't like smoking and don't want it around. Not in restaurants, not in bars.

Regardless of whether you believe the government has the right to impose smoking bans, we can pat ourselves on the back for taking action that sets a positive example for our youth instead of continuing that "do as we say, not as we do" mentality. Maybe in a decade lung cancer will have stopped claiming its 160,000 lives each year -- 87 percent of which are a direct result of smoking.

Eighty-seven percent, that's nearly 140,000 lives lost to smoking just through lung cancer. Stop killing yourselves. Go get the gum, get the patch, pull your hair, bite your nails, go for a jog, eat a big dinner, drink a beer and go to bed. Oh yeah, and send all your suits to the dry cleaner; they stink.

We're a much more aware society than we were 10 years ago. It's one thing if you don't have the will power to quit, but if you're dumb enough to take up smoking with all the positive support we have today, you probably deserve to.

[Photo credit: http://www.bravecreatures.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/thankyouforsmoking.jpg - Playbill for the movie "Thank You for Smoking"]